I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
being pregnant is like rehab
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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