last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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