She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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