Will you blow on my dice?
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
