Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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