u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
