Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
