My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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