the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Randomize
