well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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