yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
