You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
