we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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