pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
