Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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