oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
