I bet he comes in French.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
did i walk over a car last night?
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
