I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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