If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
