Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
