I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
