My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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