He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
