i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I died a long time ago.
you would pick up someone in the library
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
