He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Randomize
