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did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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