Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
