I puked a lego.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
God I need to hump something, right now.
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