i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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