I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
