Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize