used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
