And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
