is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
