that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
