Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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