Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
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Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
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The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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