you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You ruined the universe
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize