I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
