tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize