I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
