it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize