Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
