I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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