Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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