You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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