He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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