Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
