I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
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She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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