i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
