Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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