Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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