dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I have feelings that need drinking.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
