Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.

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(541): View more from Oregon

side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.

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(613): View more from Ontario

Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.

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(337): View more from Louisiana

So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.

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(970): View more from Colorado

You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.

(1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?

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(765): View more from Indiana

Howd last night go?

(1-765): View more from Indiana

well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably

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