He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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