As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
