thus making me awesome and them whores
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
