Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
