He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
