we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
