I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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